how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
