Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
