New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
