just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
