I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
