I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
