we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
