oh god the rape fog is back!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
