I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize