Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Bring me that man meat
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
