Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm at about main and main street
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
