Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
