every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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