I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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