i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
