I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Damn victory sex feels great
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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