If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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