Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
