quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
