I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
