Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
