can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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