Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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