I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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