He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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