Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize