He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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