porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
