my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
