Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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