y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
