i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I am naked and annoyed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
