Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
