there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
