3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
