omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
