i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
