Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
