i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
