I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
