If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
