Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
