I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
People in love make me want to vomit
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
