Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
