You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
