someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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