I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
