Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
