I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
one might say we're banned from that church
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
