hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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