hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize