I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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