This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
