moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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