im drinking this country out of the recession.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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