So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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