i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
