honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
