I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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